Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Beauty and Wonder

Here is something I recently learned. Have you ever been told that you are beautiful and wonderful? The time line for your beauty and wonder is based on your actions. You can walk around thinking you will always be all beautiful and wonderful in someone's eyes. Here's the secret to how quickly an opinion can change.

For instance, you can be engaged in a great conversation and while agreeing with what is said, darling you are beautiful and wonderful. Uh oh here's comes a speed bump. You don't totally agree to what is being said and so you offer your opinion with reasons why you feel the way you do. Suddenly you go from beautiful and wonderful to not so beautiful and someone with whom it is hard to get along. Ever have that happen?

Oh, oh here's another one. Let's pretend for a moment that you are in an exclusive relationship. Girl, you have never been so beautiful and wonderful. Slow down, speed bump ahead. All of a sudden you discover there are more than two of you in this exclusive relationship and aren't so cool with that. You share your opinion on the situation. Do not pass go and collect $200. You go straight to butt ugly and argumentative. Don't believe me? Give it a try.

You'll always be beautiful and wonderful to the people who can handle the truth,

Michelle K. Perkins

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

What Your Friends Say About You

Due to the recent increase of stress in my life, I have been taking a lot of long walks. I usually have my ipod for company but for a few days I forgot to charge it and was forced to think while I walked. Of course many thoughts run through my head. Honestly, it's like the ticker for the stock market. It just doesn't stop.

While in a class last week, the speaker said something that I had heard before and truly believe but it somehow got pushed to the corners of my mind. Well now it is back up front where it will stay. Here is the bit of advice. If you want to know who you really are, look at your closest friends. They are a reflection of you. I liked what I saw. We are not talking about your over 100 Facebook friends. We are talking about your circle. What do you see?

So feeling recently deceived, I took a look at the deceiver's closest friends. It was right in front of me the entire time. Yeah I wondered for a while and let that person be the person I wanted shim (gender neutral) to be. Not who shim really was. So many things make so much more sense now. Half of shim's friends were fictional characters. Come to think of it, I never met any of shim's friends. Hello red flag, didn't see you waving in front of my face.

One more life lesson learned. I know I have said it before but really, I do have the best friends in the world.

Like people usually come together. I like my girls. You know who you are. Some of us talk more than once a day and some of us don't talk as often but we know we are there for each other when it counts the most.

Michelle K. Perkins

Monday, September 14, 2009

FaceBook for Dummies

For all of you who easily gets their feelings hurt, don't take the title too seriously. I'll admit, I was a FB Dummy but that is why I am blogging tonight. It's difficult to make good decisions when only having half of the story. So my friends, here is the rest of the story.

I'm laughing as I type because I have a gut feeling that I will soon be "unfriended" by some but not by the ones who matter the most.

Dummies is actually referring to significant others or want to be significant others. It doesn't matter what one's relationship status is. FB is a playing field for those who think they are among the slickest. You think your man or woman hasn't commented or poked in days. This often is not the case. Slick folks change their account settings quicker than the maids at the Holiday Inn can change a set of sheets. Maybe that was a bad analogy because I didn't mean for there to be any implications. Just saying, the account has been altered to not show post. Oh now it's time for a legitimate post that my baby can see. That ring or nice bracelet is a constant reminder, "check my account settings". I know, you thought that piece of jewelry meant love - no - account settings.

What about those disappearing posts that made you feel all special. Hello, let's not let anyone know we are seeing each other means - now listen - I don't want all of you to find out about each other. Another clue - go to chat - that way you'll feel like you have gotten some attention but no one else will know.

Now when your baby confesses his or her love all over your wall and vice versa. You are safe!!

Go tell your baby how much you love them for both of your friends to see,

Michelle Perkins

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Equation for Life

In school I am sure at some point I learned every equation imaginable. The one equation that can't be taught but learned in parts is the equation for life. How much simpler would it be if we just had to plug in numbers? At some point in every week, we aways seem to be solving for x.

I think I need to get one of those big chalk boards and loads of chalk and continually be adding and subtracting. I've seen the mad scientist do it in movies and that stream of thought always in front of you reminds you of what you are working towards, which is x. In the movie, "City Slickers", with Billy Crystal, he was looking for the one real thing. Which is all we are all really looking for.

More often than not, we already have it. Our family and friends aren't variables but constants in our lives. These things don't change. Sadly, we focus on the things that we don't have and think that we need. I already have x and need to stop trying to solve for it.

I adore my x's,

Michelle K. Perkins

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Vocabulary - Then There are Actions

All of those words your English teachers ever taught you were very useful. We had to learn to spell them, pronounce them, and use them in a sentence. Often times we were taught the action form of the word. Maybe that was the real lesson in learning all of those words. Since actions speak louder than words, we are able to translate other's actions into our own words. This leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation.

How many times have we thought that a quiet person was standoffish, when really they may have been sad? It is much easier to figure out a person when they are talking. Simply by looking at body language while they speak gives us big clues about their sincerity. "I'm so glad I'm here," while one looks all around the room really means, "I would rather be anywhere but here." I could give endless examples and would love to hear some of yours.

During one of those vocabulary lessons, maybe very early on, say maybe 5th or 6th grade, when apology was the word of the day; we should have all been taught how to apologize. Three of the most important words we ever learned were "I am sorry". I hope I never forget these three words and always use them when I know I was wrong.

All of the most important words we know, we learned in kindergarten.

Michelle K. Perkins

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Enough - A Huge Word

Yes it is time for some therapy which means it is time to do some writing. This summer has been filled with the total spectrum of emotions. I didn't know I could cover so much emotional ground in such a short period of time. That made me start thinking about the word enough. We have all said "that is enough" or "I have had enough". This is often said when we have come to the end of our rope. How did we get to the end of the rope? I can tell you.

There were plenty of red flags before we had had enough. Those red flags consisted of statements like "this is good enough for now" or "this is just enough of what need". Let me tell you, if it is just enough, it is not enough. Why should just enough be enough? It shouldn't. It never will be enough and so don't kid yourself into thinking that it will.

I'm sure you have had enough of this, as have I.

Michelle K. Perkins

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Top of the Tree Apple Kinda Girl

When I first started blogging it was because I had tons to say that I hadn't taken the time to say and it felt so good to get these things off of my chest. Then I started blogging less and less. Blogging was how I let off steam when something happened. That is what led to tonight's blog.

Someone recently posted something on Facebook about how women are like apples. It is easy for men to pick up the apples that are on the ground. It takes a special man that is willing to climb to the top of the tree to get the best apple. The apples at the top of the tree are redder and sweeter. You have to work a little harder to get these apples but they are so worth the effort. I like to think of myself as a top of the tree kinda apple.

Throughout life we often settle for many different reasons. We find ourselves rationalizing what we know from the beginning is a bad decision. Our brain starts firing synapses that only you can hear. The popping in our own heads gets louder and louder as we start making excuses for things that we don't even believe ourselves. Every time we rationalize to yet another person the ringing in one's ears gets louder and louder. Call it the cinder block moment, if you will, because that is what it takes for me. I just know had a cinder block moment. It is what I have known all along and wasn't willing to admit.

Then the smoke clears and everything is crystal clear. I am worth climbing to the top of the tree. It is not that hard for someone to hoist themselves up one branch at a time. Many times we base our self worth on the opinion of others. No more.

Start climbing,

Michelle K. Perkins

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Couldn't Find the Card in a Store

I'm not sure exactly where I'll end up as far as the topic goes with this blog. I just have so many things running through my head. This is what I do know. There are four people I call almost daily and look forward to each and every one of our conversations even if the conversation is about the weather.

I like hearing each of your voices and like knowing that you are okay. This is what I admire about each of you. When I call you on "not so good" days, you listen and assure me that the sun will still come up in the morning. For this I am eternally grateful and treasure our friendship.

Yeah, the sun came up, I was a little sore but more seasoned today than I was yesterday.

Each of your are amazing women and I am so lucky to have you in my life.

Thank you for being my friend.

Michelle K. Perkins

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Too Much Information

I'll admit it. I like FaceBook as much as any of my FB friends. For some reason, this week FB has been most annoying. Yea, it could be just me because my patience level does run a little low at times. Here's my beef. I sign on and just want a hint of what my friends are doing. Sometimes just for a laugh and other times because I'm just curious. So this week I sign on and all I know is that people are sending Easter eggs by the hundreds. It takes up my entire update page. I love Easter but all of that gift giving needs to show up on a separate tab called "for those who are into warm and fuzzy". I wish I could be like that. Maybe it's because I'm a single mom and it just clicked that I need to somehow find time to make sure the Easter Bunny comes to our house. The Easter egg hunts are cute but I would like to choose if I see them or not. The funny thing is that there is probably a way to block that. I'll check when I sign back on.

Not to offend the picture takers either but my goodness. Do you just walk around with your phone held out in front of your face all day? Maybe that is why so many accidents occur when folks are simply walking.

I love to see all of my friends' children's milestone occasions too. However, I do not need to see what they have done every single day at three minute increments. Maybe tomorrow I'll plant a seed and take a picture of it every five minutes and post it every five minutes. Maybe when you sign on and all you see is 20 pictures of my cup of dirt you'll get the "picture".

You're in luck, I have no seeds and no potting soil,

Michelle K. Perkins

Monday, March 9, 2009

The Power of Tan Lines

I always knew that tan lines somehow made me feel better but I never realized how powerful they really were until last week. For some reason this winter has seemed colder than any other that I can remember. It has actually snowed two or three times. Since once is one too many times for me, I lost count after the first. Lucky for me, one of my best friends is a therapist and can put a name to everything that stirs my strongest emotions. Sometimes I think it's just to make me think that it is ok when I refuse to leave the house if it is under 40 degrees outside. This particular character trait of mine is seasonal depression. Am I really depressed? No, not by any stretch. I just prefer to stay warm, even if it has to be inside for the winter months.

The fact that I went to a tanning bed for the first time in two years is proof that it has been an extremely cold winter. At some point I heard that cold winters will eliminate a great deal of the annoying bugs the following summer. So here is the good news. This summer, I will be able to sit on my deck bug free.

Here's to a bugless summer,

Michelle K. Perkins

Monday, February 23, 2009

My Couch and I Are One

The only reason that I am blogging today is because I can't do much else. How many times have I thought that someone with an aching back is a wimp? Well just color me wimp.

How different the view is from the floor looking up. I never thought I would get that view, especially of the UPS store in Greenville. I had packed the infra-red heater back into its original box and managed to get it into my car. Yeah, mom had said wait for your dad and I to help you with that because it is heavy and awkward. I can do this, plus I am tired of it sitting in the floor. I want it out today. So the heater and I take off for the UPS store.

I wrestled the box out of my car, carried it at least 40 yards. I got in the store and dropped it on the floor. It was already broken so I'm sure dropping it wouldn't do any more damage. Then I drag it to the counter. I have started to feel the affects of this box in my back but this relationship is almost over cause I'm shipping you away.

Now it's my turn. The lady asked me to put the box on the scale, which is on the counter. I looked at the box for a split second and wondered if I had one more lift left in me. The answer was a resounding no. As I grab the box and try to stand, there is this unbelievable pain in my back and I can't move. I immediately go to my knees and then flat on my back. That is exactly when I got the "from the ground view" of the customers and employees. They look as shocked as I am. More than one person wanted to call an ambulance. I think they thought I had a heart attack. They asked if I knew who I was and where I was. Unfortunately I did. I was laying in the middle of the floor of the UPS store. Apparently my laying there wasn't good for business. I couldn't understand why I just couldn't lay there for a few more minutes. Can't those folks see I need to relax a minute? I let them convince me I was ready to get up but I couldn't. So two men pop me up from the floor to standing. I'm standing but can barely walk. They help me to my car and I managed to drive home.

My last obstacle was getting out of the car. That hurt bad. I crawl up the steps and make it to my couch and immediately call my mom. She quickly filled up a zip-lock bag with every pain pill made and brought them to me. I love that bag. So here I sit in the same place since Friday. I have managed to eat, bathe and just shuffle through the house. I hear I should be good as new within a week.

I'll be back,

Michelle K. Perkins

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Donuts at 1 am

For those of you who don't know, I have this love affair with sleep. It is the greatest thing in the world. During the winter, I am not quite sure what I would do if there were no such thing. The thought of going outside when it is cold can instantaneously make me feel like a need a nap. I do not have this problem in the summer. Actually in the summer I can survive off of little to no sleep.

Not once have I chosen eating over sleeping, until last night. I was having the most vivid dream. I was at the beach and for some reason, I had run, jogged, surfed without sitting down to even catch my breath. This is odd too since I just sit in a chair all day at the beach unless I decide to try catching a wave. There are times that I am just hot and go take a dip, but otherwise, I'm in the chair. I wake up from this physically intense dream at 1:08am and I am starving. There were snow flurries at that point because I checked to see on my way to the pantry. What did I find but some Sweet 16 powdered donuts that I brought back to bed with me and proceeded to eat four of them. This can not be normal. Those were the best donuts I have ever eaten in my life. What an odd sight to wake up to hit the snooze button and have a bag of donuts staring at you.

If this happens again (or maybe a few more times) I will going to the sleep clinic cause I don't want to wake up looking like the Pillsbury dough boy one day.

Sleep sweet,

Michelle K. Perkins

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Let's Talk About It

I guess I just haven't felt like blogging lately. I got into that FaceBook craze and it started taking up way too much of my time. Now that I am happy with the number of friends that I have, I think I can back off for a while.

Spam Email really makes you think about if someone is really watching your online activities. Never fail, if I pay a bill or check a balance, I will undoubtedly receive an email about loans that are available for me or that my credit score has changed. It can be a bit unnerving.

I haven't yet figured out what spurs the colon cleansing emails or the how to lose weight emails. I have no desire to have my colon cleansed and if I lost ten pounds I would be virtually invisible.

Then there are the how to find love emails. Now this is a department in which I could use some help. Let me just say, those ads for dating sites that feature that drop dead gorgeous man with salt and pepper hair plus the smile to die for. He isn't on there. I have looked. I think it really is a 60 year old, could lose a few pounds, Harley rider that someone has spent quite a bit of time photo shopping. Oh yeah, I have looked and subscribed and am still single. After all, the real meaning of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I caught on pretty quickly and am saving money on that one. I did say one time the only way I would meet someone was if it was the UPS man making a delivery. Go figure, the day I got a UPS delivery was the day I was sick as a dog. I go to the door. There is Mr. UPS guy. He looked a lot like that drop dead gorgeous man in the dating site ad. There I stood, no shower, sweat pants, hair in a pitiful ponytail and no make-up. My one shot and I blew it. (Believe it or not, as I was typing this, I was notified that I have an email (Two Singles Want to Meet Me). I always feel like, some body's watching me. I have no idea why that song just popped in my head.

Wishing I could think of something to mail order. Give me another chance Mr. UPS Guy,

Michelle K. Perkins