Here is something I recently learned. Have you ever been told that you are beautiful and wonderful? The time line for your beauty and wonder is based on your actions. You can walk around thinking you will always be all beautiful and wonderful in someone's eyes. Here's the secret to how quickly an opinion can change.
For instance, you can be engaged in a great conversation and while agreeing with what is said, darling you are beautiful and wonderful. Uh oh here's comes a speed bump. You don't totally agree to what is being said and so you offer your opinion with reasons why you feel the way you do. Suddenly you go from beautiful and wonderful to not so beautiful and someone with whom it is hard to get along. Ever have that happen?
Oh, oh here's another one. Let's pretend for a moment that you are in an exclusive relationship. Girl, you have never been so beautiful and wonderful. Slow down, speed bump ahead. All of a sudden you discover there are more than two of you in this exclusive relationship and aren't so cool with that. You share your opinion on the situation. Do not pass go and collect $200. You go straight to butt ugly and argumentative. Don't believe me? Give it a try.
You'll always be beautiful and wonderful to the people who can handle the truth,
Michelle K. Perkins
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What Your Friends Say About You
Due to the recent increase of stress in my life, I have been taking a lot of long walks. I usually have my ipod for company but for a few days I forgot to charge it and was forced to think while I walked. Of course many thoughts run through my head. Honestly, it's like the ticker for the stock market. It just doesn't stop.
While in a class last week, the speaker said something that I had heard before and truly believe but it somehow got pushed to the corners of my mind. Well now it is back up front where it will stay. Here is the bit of advice. If you want to know who you really are, look at your closest friends. They are a reflection of you. I liked what I saw. We are not talking about your over 100 Facebook friends. We are talking about your circle. What do you see?
So feeling recently deceived, I took a look at the deceiver's closest friends. It was right in front of me the entire time. Yeah I wondered for a while and let that person be the person I wanted shim (gender neutral) to be. Not who shim really was. So many things make so much more sense now. Half of shim's friends were fictional characters. Come to think of it, I never met any of shim's friends. Hello red flag, didn't see you waving in front of my face.
One more life lesson learned. I know I have said it before but really, I do have the best friends in the world.
Like people usually come together. I like my girls. You know who you are. Some of us talk more than once a day and some of us don't talk as often but we know we are there for each other when it counts the most.
Michelle K. Perkins
While in a class last week, the speaker said something that I had heard before and truly believe but it somehow got pushed to the corners of my mind. Well now it is back up front where it will stay. Here is the bit of advice. If you want to know who you really are, look at your closest friends. They are a reflection of you. I liked what I saw. We are not talking about your over 100 Facebook friends. We are talking about your circle. What do you see?
So feeling recently deceived, I took a look at the deceiver's closest friends. It was right in front of me the entire time. Yeah I wondered for a while and let that person be the person I wanted shim (gender neutral) to be. Not who shim really was. So many things make so much more sense now. Half of shim's friends were fictional characters. Come to think of it, I never met any of shim's friends. Hello red flag, didn't see you waving in front of my face.
One more life lesson learned. I know I have said it before but really, I do have the best friends in the world.
Like people usually come together. I like my girls. You know who you are. Some of us talk more than once a day and some of us don't talk as often but we know we are there for each other when it counts the most.
Michelle K. Perkins
Monday, September 14, 2009
FaceBook for Dummies
For all of you who easily gets their feelings hurt, don't take the title too seriously. I'll admit, I was a FB Dummy but that is why I am blogging tonight. It's difficult to make good decisions when only having half of the story. So my friends, here is the rest of the story.
I'm laughing as I type because I have a gut feeling that I will soon be "unfriended" by some but not by the ones who matter the most.
Dummies is actually referring to significant others or want to be significant others. It doesn't matter what one's relationship status is. FB is a playing field for those who think they are among the slickest. You think your man or woman hasn't commented or poked in days. This often is not the case. Slick folks change their account settings quicker than the maids at the Holiday Inn can change a set of sheets. Maybe that was a bad analogy because I didn't mean for there to be any implications. Just saying, the account has been altered to not show post. Oh now it's time for a legitimate post that my baby can see. That ring or nice bracelet is a constant reminder, "check my account settings". I know, you thought that piece of jewelry meant love - no - account settings.
What about those disappearing posts that made you feel all special. Hello, let's not let anyone know we are seeing each other means - now listen - I don't want all of you to find out about each other. Another clue - go to chat - that way you'll feel like you have gotten some attention but no one else will know.
Now when your baby confesses his or her love all over your wall and vice versa. You are safe!!
Go tell your baby how much you love them for both of your friends to see,
Michelle Perkins
I'm laughing as I type because I have a gut feeling that I will soon be "unfriended" by some but not by the ones who matter the most.
Dummies is actually referring to significant others or want to be significant others. It doesn't matter what one's relationship status is. FB is a playing field for those who think they are among the slickest. You think your man or woman hasn't commented or poked in days. This often is not the case. Slick folks change their account settings quicker than the maids at the Holiday Inn can change a set of sheets. Maybe that was a bad analogy because I didn't mean for there to be any implications. Just saying, the account has been altered to not show post. Oh now it's time for a legitimate post that my baby can see. That ring or nice bracelet is a constant reminder, "check my account settings". I know, you thought that piece of jewelry meant love - no - account settings.
What about those disappearing posts that made you feel all special. Hello, let's not let anyone know we are seeing each other means - now listen - I don't want all of you to find out about each other. Another clue - go to chat - that way you'll feel like you have gotten some attention but no one else will know.
Now when your baby confesses his or her love all over your wall and vice versa. You are safe!!
Go tell your baby how much you love them for both of your friends to see,
Michelle Perkins
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The Equation for Life
In school I am sure at some point I learned every equation imaginable. The one equation that can't be taught but learned in parts is the equation for life. How much simpler would it be if we just had to plug in numbers? At some point in every week, we aways seem to be solving for x.
I think I need to get one of those big chalk boards and loads of chalk and continually be adding and subtracting. I've seen the mad scientist do it in movies and that stream of thought always in front of you reminds you of what you are working towards, which is x. In the movie, "City Slickers", with Billy Crystal, he was looking for the one real thing. Which is all we are all really looking for.
More often than not, we already have it. Our family and friends aren't variables but constants in our lives. These things don't change. Sadly, we focus on the things that we don't have and think that we need. I already have x and need to stop trying to solve for it.
I adore my x's,
Michelle K. Perkins
I think I need to get one of those big chalk boards and loads of chalk and continually be adding and subtracting. I've seen the mad scientist do it in movies and that stream of thought always in front of you reminds you of what you are working towards, which is x. In the movie, "City Slickers", with Billy Crystal, he was looking for the one real thing. Which is all we are all really looking for.
More often than not, we already have it. Our family and friends aren't variables but constants in our lives. These things don't change. Sadly, we focus on the things that we don't have and think that we need. I already have x and need to stop trying to solve for it.
I adore my x's,
Michelle K. Perkins
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Vocabulary - Then There are Actions
All of those words your English teachers ever taught you were very useful. We had to learn to spell them, pronounce them, and use them in a sentence. Often times we were taught the action form of the word. Maybe that was the real lesson in learning all of those words. Since actions speak louder than words, we are able to translate other's actions into our own words. This leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation.
How many times have we thought that a quiet person was standoffish, when really they may have been sad? It is much easier to figure out a person when they are talking. Simply by looking at body language while they speak gives us big clues about their sincerity. "I'm so glad I'm here," while one looks all around the room really means, "I would rather be anywhere but here." I could give endless examples and would love to hear some of yours.
During one of those vocabulary lessons, maybe very early on, say maybe 5th or 6th grade, when apology was the word of the day; we should have all been taught how to apologize. Three of the most important words we ever learned were "I am sorry". I hope I never forget these three words and always use them when I know I was wrong.
All of the most important words we know, we learned in kindergarten.
Michelle K. Perkins
How many times have we thought that a quiet person was standoffish, when really they may have been sad? It is much easier to figure out a person when they are talking. Simply by looking at body language while they speak gives us big clues about their sincerity. "I'm so glad I'm here," while one looks all around the room really means, "I would rather be anywhere but here." I could give endless examples and would love to hear some of yours.
During one of those vocabulary lessons, maybe very early on, say maybe 5th or 6th grade, when apology was the word of the day; we should have all been taught how to apologize. Three of the most important words we ever learned were "I am sorry". I hope I never forget these three words and always use them when I know I was wrong.
All of the most important words we know, we learned in kindergarten.
Michelle K. Perkins
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Enough - A Huge Word
Yes it is time for some therapy which means it is time to do some writing. This summer has been filled with the total spectrum of emotions. I didn't know I could cover so much emotional ground in such a short period of time. That made me start thinking about the word enough. We have all said "that is enough" or "I have had enough". This is often said when we have come to the end of our rope. How did we get to the end of the rope? I can tell you.
There were plenty of red flags before we had had enough. Those red flags consisted of statements like "this is good enough for now" or "this is just enough of what need". Let me tell you, if it is just enough, it is not enough. Why should just enough be enough? It shouldn't. It never will be enough and so don't kid yourself into thinking that it will.
I'm sure you have had enough of this, as have I.
Michelle K. Perkins
There were plenty of red flags before we had had enough. Those red flags consisted of statements like "this is good enough for now" or "this is just enough of what need". Let me tell you, if it is just enough, it is not enough. Why should just enough be enough? It shouldn't. It never will be enough and so don't kid yourself into thinking that it will.
I'm sure you have had enough of this, as have I.
Michelle K. Perkins
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Top of the Tree Apple Kinda Girl
When I first started blogging it was because I had tons to say that I hadn't taken the time to say and it felt so good to get these things off of my chest. Then I started blogging less and less. Blogging was how I let off steam when something happened. That is what led to tonight's blog.
Someone recently posted something on Facebook about how women are like apples. It is easy for men to pick up the apples that are on the ground. It takes a special man that is willing to climb to the top of the tree to get the best apple. The apples at the top of the tree are redder and sweeter. You have to work a little harder to get these apples but they are so worth the effort. I like to think of myself as a top of the tree kinda apple.
Throughout life we often settle for many different reasons. We find ourselves rationalizing what we know from the beginning is a bad decision. Our brain starts firing synapses that only you can hear. The popping in our own heads gets louder and louder as we start making excuses for things that we don't even believe ourselves. Every time we rationalize to yet another person the ringing in one's ears gets louder and louder. Call it the cinder block moment, if you will, because that is what it takes for me. I just know had a cinder block moment. It is what I have known all along and wasn't willing to admit.
Then the smoke clears and everything is crystal clear. I am worth climbing to the top of the tree. It is not that hard for someone to hoist themselves up one branch at a time. Many times we base our self worth on the opinion of others. No more.
Start climbing,
Michelle K. Perkins
Someone recently posted something on Facebook about how women are like apples. It is easy for men to pick up the apples that are on the ground. It takes a special man that is willing to climb to the top of the tree to get the best apple. The apples at the top of the tree are redder and sweeter. You have to work a little harder to get these apples but they are so worth the effort. I like to think of myself as a top of the tree kinda apple.
Throughout life we often settle for many different reasons. We find ourselves rationalizing what we know from the beginning is a bad decision. Our brain starts firing synapses that only you can hear. The popping in our own heads gets louder and louder as we start making excuses for things that we don't even believe ourselves. Every time we rationalize to yet another person the ringing in one's ears gets louder and louder. Call it the cinder block moment, if you will, because that is what it takes for me. I just know had a cinder block moment. It is what I have known all along and wasn't willing to admit.
Then the smoke clears and everything is crystal clear. I am worth climbing to the top of the tree. It is not that hard for someone to hoist themselves up one branch at a time. Many times we base our self worth on the opinion of others. No more.
Start climbing,
Michelle K. Perkins
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